meh...bad day
Angeri hate people. in general. they suck. donkey dick. when you have a job dealing mostly in customer interacion you see a side to people that you dont like. let me explain...i am a cashier. and everyday seems to be developing a horrible pattern.
they hand me the money. no eye contact. god forbid they realize im one of them. i smile and ask how they are. nothing. dead space. not even a fucking cricket! maybe it would be better if i had a cricket chirp...not the point... i continue to smile for my every move is being filmed and god forbid the employer find i am treating the customer bad. i take the money and make the exchange for goods. still smiling, i hand them their change. still no eye contact. i wish them a good day. a grimace spreads over their face as they mumble and walk away, glaring back. this is the one and only time they make eye contact.
shitty, eh? i think the worst part is that everyone of them acts like this. everyone. today was the only day i truely hated my job. i came home sad because everyone in the school was shooting my smile down with glares. and i caught myself waundering what i had done wrong. as the day carried on i realized it wasnt me. apparentally the world hates everyone. thats why everyone was so pissed. id be pissed too if the world hated me. anyways, what ever happened to dont worry be happy? is happyness meerly a mirrage, a childs tale? has it become something that isnt required for you to show toward someone now? not that it should be required mind you, but why not show a bit. even when i have a bad day i manage to smile a little. these people glared. didnt try to smile. no smirk. not even a half grin. just glared at me. fucking ass holes....
moving on...
ever feel like you dont want anyone too close to you? yeah...feeling that right now. its like i cant seem to see when i have something good goin for me until its ripped from me. or till i push it away. i could have the finest quisine before me and i would rather have the frozen dinner the person next to me is having, just because i know it is out of my reach and owned by someone else.
and im no better with good friends. when i have good ones i shove them out of my reach and hold the bad ones close. i would rather hold the rabid beast in my arms as it slashes me than hold the cute kitten . my reasoning? believe me, if i knew i would tell you. i would be able to fix the problem. but no, i am cursed with the lack of common sense. ah! thats my problem. no common sense. and that god awful fear of being hurt. love? ha. who needs it. im fine in my room alone with my rabid beast and lack of common sense....
to those who have found themselves pushed away...
sorry. but maybe your better off. what good could i be?
god forbid i allow someone close or get hurt by someone. god forbid i let anything good happen.
Devious Comments
I have no idea why I have an urge to share that, but well, I just did. Chin up kiddo. The world needs insight, and only artists and stand-up comedians are brave enough to give it these days.
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its bad wrong...its badong....
Bottom line, I just hate to see people suffer any more than they have to in order to learn what they need to learn. So I try to encourage. So if you need a good laugh right now? Search Utube for Carlos and see what comes up. The man, while he may be a bit rough with his language for my typical taste, he is still a phylosopher and he's trying, in his own way to make the world a better place. He's also very funny!
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What I can give to you is encouragement.
Don’t worry about what the rest of the world is doing...if you are happy…smile...there is no telling who that smile will effect that day. Even if people do not return your kindness...it may still be that it has lifted their spirits just a bit.
Try to take care.
=^.^=
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"Everything happens for a reason
Things fall apart & others fall into place
Don’t question it. Just let it happen.
If its meant to be it’ll find a way"
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its bad wrong...its badong....
people suck, yes it is true... people would rather cast you aside like a piece of trash than to take into consideration of how one feels... its just they way we humans are... but some of use view the world the same as you, thinking everyone sucks... if we could only learn to actually talk and listen to one another and actually have an indepth conversation, maybe people wouldnt suck so badly... maybe we could learn to get along? or maybe thats just the ramblings of an idiotic romantic, i dont know...
friends are a precious thing, and is a rarity to come across a really good friend... you may think that you are pushing us away sometimes, but we only push back, trying to get closer to help you through whatever pains you... and as long as you wish it, we will never leave your side... through thick and thin, true friends are always there for you...
and i have to say, i feel like i havent been there for you... you're going through all this and i dont even realize it... God, what the hell is wrong with me? i dont want to be clingy by being around you every waking moment, but i do want to help in anyway possible... so for this fault of mine, i appologize...
so just remember, we're always there for ya girl... if you fall, we'll be there to catch you... but dont be afraid to ask... cause without talking, people just suck...
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remember kids... when the blind lead the blind, get outta the way!!!
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